“I hope someone else wins.”
No, I wasn’t the one who said that gracious statement before the awards ceremony at ACFW. I wanted to win. But I didn’t think I would.
It’s been so long since the awards ceremony–I had a 13-hr travel day home, then went straight into a temporary full-time substitute job–but I don’t want to let the moment slip away. Maybe not even because I want to tell you about it, but because I want to record it for myself.
The last workshop of the day was Susan Meissner’s “Peace in the Process.” We discussed what our expectations were of our careers, where we felt we’d fallen short, and what being “blessed” as an author really meant. Does a best-selling author have more of God’s blessing than the unpublished one getting her 50th rejection? Does winning an award become an outer manifestation of His blessing? If so, what does not winning mean?
Sooz walked us through some really good questions and doled out great insights. (If you’re interested in a recording of the session, go to ACFW to order.) We walked back to the elevator together and chatted a bit before she said that heartfelt sentence: “I hope someone else wins.”
In case you don’t know much about Sooz, let me give you a quick run down. She has written many, many books that deal with heart issues in lyrical ways. My favorite of hers is still The Remedy for Regret, but she received much acclaim for The Shape of Mercy. She’s not only a skilled and emotive writer, she also proved an encourager and friend as I went through the divorce. I knew, as I walked beside her at the hotel, she meant those words, spoken to me, a “competitor” in the same category.
In some ways I wonder if was God’s plan for her to win, but her deflection of the award allowed the honor to go to me. May I be mature enough to say something like that and mean it when I reach the level of career she has!
Perfect timing–the Lord is all about perfect timing. Have you ever pondered this scenario: a man knows exactly how long he will work at a certain company. The boss pays his entire wage on the first day and the man must budget it out over the years until retirement. Think it would work? I don’t. No matter that at the end of the years, the man will have received the same amount, we as people, in general, need things spread out.
Can you imagine living all the pain of your life in the first 10 years just to live trouble-free after that? God doesn’t give us more trouble than we can handle at one time. Or imagine storing all the food you’ll need for the rest of your life.
God is our storehouse or both good things, and bad things that draw us closer to Him or grow us. He gives us what we need, when we need it. Finding peace in trusting Him with the rationing allows us to lead joyful lives no matter what the circumstances.
Susan was in a place where she did not need to the award to feel validated/worthy/directed. I, however, am wandering the land of no-second-contract, wondering what I should focus on, worrying I might not sell a book again. God’s timing is perfect, so, while others in the category might have needed the encouragement of a win as well, this was the time chosen for me. Not more of God’s blessing than any other writer, but the TIME of the blessing being now.
Here’s a link to my acceptance speech:
Here’s a link to all my photos from conference, including a pic of me with Janette Oke!
You have NO IDEA how proud I was (still am!) of you!!! May God continue to help you soar on the wings of eagles and to not grow weary.
Jaime, I was running last night and was feeling draggy, but knew the exercise would be good for me. That verse ran through my mind–the idea of running and not growing weary is pretty amazing! Thank you. 🙂